Seven things every neurodivergent employee and colleague wishes you knew

While I'm proud to say I graduated a few weeks ago with my BSW, the job search begins-and though job searching and getting employed is tough for everyone and anyone, regardless if they're disabled or not, especially in this economy, even with how supposedly "progressive" our society appears to be, a recent TikTok demonstrated it's clear we still have a long way to go for autistic employees. On the platform, an autistic employee's video recently vent viral. Known by the user @aegoaegyo, he was disciplined at work for being a "bad communicator." This led him to making this sign:

Alt text: sign in an office made by the autistic employee. It reads, "I'm autistic. I prefer direct, literal and detailed communication. If I am not making eye contact, not greeting you back, not understanding your social cues, etc there is no malicious intent. It is the autism. Thank you for understanding."

And I'm sure so many of those autism parents (will definitely make a rant/post about these people later), "allies", along with people who truly don't realize how dystopian and inherently ableist our society is will think, "wow, look at him taking initiative! Kudos to him!", or worse, "Well, it's a workplace with mostly neurotypical people-if he knew this, shouldn't he learn to adapt to that sort of setting and those people?" And therein lies the main issue-first off, that sign really shouldn't have been made in the first place. This is especially since while workplaces can't ask you to disclose your actual disability, if you do confirm on the application or your resume that you have one, they are obligated to provide proper accommodation-which didn't happen. When you choose to only see the problem through rose-colored glasses (so in this case, people essentially overlooking the fact that this employee's supervisors were being extremely ableist, without any consideration to how the employee felt, and how it was likely this was his first time disclosing to people who were virtually strangers that he was autistic, subjecting himself to even more judgement, in favor of the whole "wow, disabled people are so brave! If they can do it, so can you!"mindset), you fail to see the root problem. Autistic people have been conditioned, trained, essentially forced, to adapt and mimic traits and behaviors to be better "accepted" by neurotypicals and larger society for YEARS, even when those traits are completely harmless, be it stimming, not looking people directly in the eye, or simply wanting to be alone, often at the expense of our own comfort, well-being, and even our identity. We're taught that we should be "fixed" when it's really the system that needs fixing. Quite simply, don't try to change the employee to fit the workplace; change the workplace to fit the employee! Not to mention,at the height of the 2020 BLM protests and after, many workplaces have been quick to issue statements and claims of commitment to inclusion and diversity-but many fail to realize that like it or not, this includes disabled people as well. And that needs to stop. That being said, here's just a few things all employees-regardless if they've never worked with someone who is autistic and don't expect to, or know someone who is autistic (if you've met one person with autism, you know ONE person with autism!) should keep in mind if they're in the hiring process of someone who has personally disclosed that they are autistic, or if they suspect they're autistic:

1. Don't judge us if we're dressed "inappropriately" for the interview: You might be aware of how autistic people tend to struggle with sensory overload-basically, when our five senses, be it sight, hearing, smelling, taste, and touch, take in more information then we can handle. And this can especially apply to clothing-some of us may struggle with clothes that are more fitted/formal (be it a button down shirt or a long, fitted skirt-both considered "appropriate" and necessary for job interviews and more formal workplace settings), because of how restrictive that clothing can be, and how we're just so used to "safe" clothing (sweatshirts, leggings/sweatpants, tshirts, etc) that it can be extremely difficult to adapt to clothing that oftentimes can be really uncomfortable to be in for even just a few minutes. If we're dressed in any of those items-it doesn't mean we don't respect or don't care about the job. It just means we're trying to do our best to feel comfortable in an unfamiliar environment, which can be super uncomfortable at times, and the addition of clothing that isn't as sensory friendly can make it even more stressful/overwhelming.

2. Body language is tough. Be understanding: If we're struggling with eye contact, or enunciate clearly, or mimic your tone, it does NOT mean we are being disrespectful-and let's be real, having to adpt to a new workplace that we've just started at, or be in a new environment for an interview can be overwhelming enough without having to think about how everyone else will judge and percieve us based off of our body language-it just means we have some problems with communication-but that doesn't mean we're any less capable of empathizing and understanding, and it doesn't mean we're any less capable as an employee.

3. Stimming is normal and healthy: Another important buzzword: stimming, or self-stimulatory behavior, are certain actions that autistic people often utilize to help cope or deal with overwhelming or uncomfortable situations, or just do sporadically, be it hand-flapping, rocking back and forth, humming, wiggling fingers, spinning in a swivel chair, etc (for me, it's cracking my knuckles and back and bouncing my leg). If it's a harmless stim (side note, harmful stims include head banging, picking at fingers/fingernails until they bleed, essentially any stim that can be compared to self-harm), and doesn't disrupt or bother anyone, don't block it! Better yet, ask us if we want to bring any stim/sensory toys to the workplace (putty, fidget cubes, stress balls, etc) and don't be afraid to ask us if we need a "stim break", especially if we appear unfocused or if we seem "off."

4. If we disclose our autism to you, understand that we trust you: It speaks for itself. We trust you to honor and respect our autistic identity. We also trust that you will do all that you can in your power to best accommodate and include us in ways that are effective and helpful. It also means we trust you to NOT tell others that we are autistic, regardless of how friendly you are with us. It's like outing a co-worker/employee that's LGBTQIA+; though there is thankfully more increased awareness and acceptance of both the LGBTQIA+ and autistic communities, thanks to the internet allowing for more exposure and advocacy groups, there is unfortunately still a huge stigma, in part ot how there are still a lot of ignorant and ableist mindsets out there-and unfortunately, there may be co-workers and employees that hold those very mindsets. Also, DO NOT tell us that "well, but you don't look autistic!", or "well, my seven year old cousin's autistic, and he's nothing like you!" Autism IS NOT a one-size-fits-all situation; it's a beautifully diverse spectrum that shines through anyone and everyone that has it! Not to mention, because of societal pressures/norms and also unfortunately how some of us have undergone ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy-I'll also be making a vent/rant post about this), many autistics have learned masking, or intentionally picking up and mimicking neurotypical traits to better "blend", especially in social situations, such as the workplace so they don't "appear" autistic, oftentimes to avoid judgement/stigma, which is why someone may not "look" autistic-but not everyone looks neurotypical either, now do they?

5. If you're planning on showing support by supporting Autism Speaks...don't: I'm going to make a seperate post about the dangers and failures of Autism Speaks, and why they do more harm than help for the autistic community, but I'll keep it (somewhat) short for now: Autism Speaks is to the autistic community what Chick-fil-A is to the LGBTQIA+ community (and I'm not shocked if Autism Speaks has sponsored Chick-fil-A at some point). Autism Speaks has advocated the idea that autism needs a "cure" (we don't need a cure-what we need is better advocacy, acceptance, understanding, and more well-meaning people, neurotypical and neurodivergent, to help us and our cause). They are also perhaps most notorious for releasing an extremely controversial video titled "I Am Autism", which claims "I work very quickly. I work faster than pediatric aids, cancer, and diabetes combined. And if you’re happily married, I will make sure that your marriage fails. Your money will fall into my hands, and I will bankrupt you for my own self-gain. I don’t sleep, so I make sure you don’t either." That being said, PLEASE consider supporting and donating to organizations such as the Neurodiversity Network and the Autistic Women and Non-Binary Network if you want to show support!

6. Please don't be hesitate to try and include us, and encourage other employees to include us: The truth is, it's lonely as hell being autistic-the way our brains are wired make it extremely hard to relate to a society largely built for neurotypicals. But I'll tell you a little hack: special interests! Autistic people often have “special interests” (Doctor Who, horses, etc that they tend to fixate/perseverate on, being extremely knowledgeable about these subjects, more than the average enthusiast would be), and we use these interests to try and connect with other people, and even test the waters when it comes to a potential friendship or relationship-not so different from how neurotypicals connect and find community! If you share a common interest, don't be afraid to engage with us about it (ie, "Hey, I noticed that you're also really into Stranger Things-what did you think of the last season?"), and if you aren't-us autistics have a tendency to infodump, where we'll tell you anything and everything we can about a specific particular interest/fixation of ours (for example, I can talk for hours and hours about Community), and engaging with us about that interest, even if you aren't interested (aka part of what you neurotypicals might consider a social fake), can make a HUGE difference.

7. Don't be afraid to ask us questions: While reading this post is a wonderful start, especially if you are an employer or employee who thinks or knows they have an autistic colleague, if there's anything your colleague or this blog hasn't covered when it comes to autism in the workplace, truly, the best thing you can do is ask us! Though it can be awkward, this is especially critical because like the employee in the TikTok, many autistic people often disclose that they're disabled, but don't end up admitting they're autistic-some of them were never taught the proper self-advocacy skills and aren't sure how to verbalize that they're autistic and need accommodation. Some don't tell because they're genuinely worried they'll be judged or ostracized. This lack of communication and failure to reach out on behalf of the employers and co-workers only results in a lack of understanding between both parties-resulting in workplace conflict, unpredictability (which can be extremely difficult for autistic people, as we're so acclimated to routine), mistrust, and worse, a higher risk of being fired/terminated.

I understand this post was lengthy and if some parts were hard to accept-but if you are an employer, or colleague of an autistic person, think you know one, or even if you're just an employee or colleague, neurodiverse or neurotypical, that happened to stumble upon this post, even if you don't end up taking much from it, I hope that you remember this: our disability is part of our identity, but it does not define us or our competencies. The workplace as a whole cannot succeed when we are not accepted, included, or given a space that allows us to not only survive, but thrive. Hiring us isn't a "win" for representation when autistic people are still ostracized, bullied, discriminated against, and it doesn't change that about 85% of college-educated autistic adults are unemployed. Autistic employees have been overlooked, dismissed, called out, fired, and even mocked all due to their differences for far too long, and it needs to change. And that change begins with not just us, but you.